


why are you mad? when you could be GLAAD?

by Alice_Prongs



Series: shirbert x taylor swift's lover fics because i needed it [11]
Category: Anne with an E (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/F, F/M, Fluff and Humor, Mutual Pining, Social Media AU, Texting, You've been warned, and against homophobia, and have meddling friends, anne is a social justice warrior, anne is impressed and wishing she was not, as usual, billy andrews is a homophobic asshole, but in modern days, gilbert is whipped, or at least it's an attempt, season 3 episode 7 basically, text fic, the whole gang is here and (mostly) everyone is gay, they're both terrible at denying their feelings, this is all in text messages, through texts - Freeform, you let me know if i'm funny or not
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-17
Updated: 2020-04-17
Packaged: 2021-02-28 22:21:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,589
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23304556
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alice_Prongs/pseuds/Alice_Prongs
Summary: Groupchat: josie learn how to give hugs challengeAnne: i will KILL HIM ONE DAYAnne: JANE I’M SO SORRY YOU HAVE TO LIVE WITH THIS IDIOT I DON’T KNOW HOW YOU DO ITJane: it takes a lot of eyerolls sighing and cursing under my breathJane: also shoving a bunch of wet paper towels in his backpack as revengewhere anne shirley-cuthbert is bisexual and the president of the avonlea high gsa, and she is not about to let stupid billy andrews continue to spread his homophobia around the school, so she makes a plan and enlists the help of her friends.where gilbert blythe is pansexual and can't help but fall madly in love with anne as he watches her destroy a homophobic asshole.
Relationships: Diana Barry/Jerry Baynard, Gilbert Blythe/Anne Shirley, Josie Pye/Jane Andrews, Ruby Gillis/Moody Spurgeon MacPherson
Series: shirbert x taylor swift's lover fics because i needed it [11]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1513247
Comments: 18
Kudos: 178





	why are you mad? when you could be GLAAD?

**Author's Note:**

> hello, i'm back! i feel like it's been ages since i last posted something, but you can all blame writing block and the quarantine for that. this has been in the works for a while, but i've been kind of insecure about it because it's so different from anything else i've written before, but i hope you like it! slowly and surely, we're moving towards one fic per lover song hahah
> 
> hope everyone is doing well in these weird times and keeping safe (stay at home, guys!!) and that this fic can bring some laughter and good feelings among this pandemic!
> 
> title from taylor swift's you need to calm down
> 
> p.s.: check the notes in the end for a "guide" to everyone's sexualities!

**MONDAY, MARCH 23rd**

**_Groupchat_ ** _: josie learn how to give hugs challenge_

 **Jane** : i know im his sister but like

 **Jane** : can someone punch billy in the face

 **Jane** : please?

 **Josie** : WHY IS THAT THE GC NAME

 **Josie** : But yes Asshole Andrews is at it again

 **Josie** : Someone pls put him in his place

 **Tillie** : Josie you KNOW why that’s the gc name

 **Josie** : No

 **Josie** : Unacceptable

 **Josie** : I’m great at hugs

 **Ruby** : Of course you are!!!

 **Diana** : OMG WHY DOESN’T HE JUST STOP TALKING

 **Jane** : im sorry im related to him

 **Jane** : still stand by the theory hes adopted tho

 **Ruby** : Where’s miss Stacey when we need her

 **Anne** : i will KILL HIM ONE DAY

 **Anne** : JANE I’M SO SORRY YOU HAVE TO LIVE WITH THIS IDIOT I DON’T KNOW HOW YOU DO IT

 **Jane** : it takes a lot of eyerolls sighing and cursing under my breath

 **Jane** : also shoving a bunch of wet paper towels in his backpack as revenge

 **Tillie** : Having an older also lesbian sister who’s punched him in the face more than once can’t hurt either

 **Anne** : wish i could punch him in the face without breaking by wrist or something

 **Jane** : id love to see it tbh

 **Anne** : well…….

 **Diana** : oh no

 **Ruby** : What??

 **Anne** : we could do something BETTER

 **Ruby** : Oh no

 **Josie** : Oh no

 **Tillie** : Oh no

 **Diana** : again… oh no

 **Jane** : OH YES

* * *

**_Groupchat_** _: avonlea high’s gays and allies_

 **Anne** : LISTEN UP PEOPLE

 **Jerry** : oh no

 **Cole** : oh no

 **Gilbert** : oh no

 **Moody** : What??

 **Anne** : WE’RE GOING TO REVOLUTIONIZE THIS SCHOOL

 **Moody** : Okay I get it now

 **Moody** : Oh no

 **Anne** : you haven’t even HEARD my idea yet

 **Cole** : and yet we know it won’t end well

 **Diana** : we tried to stop her

 **Gilbert** : did you really??

 **Diana** : shut up blythe you know she’s impossible to stop

 **Anne** : yes i am and ur all cowards

 **Anne** : anyways here’s the deal

* * *

**_Chat_** : _xoxo gossip cole_

 **Jerry** : bet u 10 bucks blythe is the first to agree to annes plan

 **Cole** : are you crazy?

 **Cole** : i'm not taking that action

 **Cole** : i KNOW he’ll be

 **Jerry** : fine ill ask moody then

* * *

**_Chat_** _: moody mcdonalds_

 **Jerry** : bet u 10 bucks blythe is the first to agree to annes plan

 **Moody** : Fine

 **Moody** : I’m going with Diana

 **Moody** : She always does what Anne wants

 **Jerry** : oh u sweet innocent child

* * *

**_Groupchat_** _: avonlea high’s gays and allies_

 **Anne** : and that’s basically it

 **Jerry** : no

 **Josie** : no

 **Tillie** : No

 **Ruby** : I’m not sure that’s such a good idea…

 **Diana** : anne…

 **Anne** : COME ON PEOPLE WHERE’S YOUR FIGHTING SPIRIT

 **Anne** : LET’S DESTROY THE HOMOPHOBICS

 **Gilbert** : yeah sure let’s do it

 **Cole** : oh god

* * *

**_Chat_** _: moody mcdonalds_

 **Jerry** : i expect to be paid in full tomorrow

 **Moody** : Screw you

* * *

**_Chat_** _: cole sprouse_

 **Cole** : omg

 **Cole** : that took like five seconds

 **Cole** : could u BE any more in love with her??

 **Gilbert** : what?????

 **Cole** : you have a crush on anne dude

 **Gilbert** : WHAT

 **Gilbert** : no i don’t shut up

 **Cole** : you’re still going to regret that

* * *

**_Groupchat_** _: avonlea high’s gays and allies_

 **Anne** : finally someone sane

 **Anne** : thank you, gilbert

 **Gilbert** : yeah for sure

 **Gilbert** : it’s only fair

* * *

**_Chat_** _: cole sprouse_

 **Cole** : you’re blushing

 **Gilbert** : SHUT UP

 **Gilbert** : NO I’M NOT

* * *

**_Groupchat_** _: avonlea high’s gays and allies_

 **Moody** : You’re all crazy

 **Moody** : Don’t you know where Anne’s ideas normally get us?

 **Gilbert** : you mean ideas like… creating the school’s gsa?

 **Gilbert** : because that got us in a pretty good place

 **Tillie** : Pretty sure he’s talking about the time we all got detention for a week because she thought it would be a good idea to publish a piece on the school newspaper against the school administration without consulting us

 **Anne** : hey!! that was…

 **Anne** : a long time ago

 **Gilbert** : and if it wasn’t for that we’d still have Mr. Philips as headmaster

 **Gilbert** : and our newspaper would still be publishing about the cafeteria’s tater tots instead of actual, important subjects

 **Jane** : wow gilbert

 **Jane** : go off i guess??

 **Anne** : um thanks gilbert

 **Gilbert** : oh

 **Gilbert** : i'm just saying the truth

 **Ruby** : Still, don’t you guys think it’s a little risky?

 **Gilbert** : listen, there’s always risk in trying to change people’s minds

 **Gilbert** : but anne’s ideas are always about what’s fair

 **Gilbert** : and what’s best for all of us

 **Diana** : gilbert’s right

 **Diana** : besides, aren’t you all tired of billy’s antics?

 **Moody** : I mean, yeah, but still

 **Jane** : oh pls wheres ur sense of adventure

 **Jane** : LETS KICK MY BROTHERS SORRY ASS

 **Jane** : METAPHORICALLY SPEAKING

 **Josie** : I agree

 **Tillie** : Of course you do

 **Josie** : Shut up Tillie

 **Jerry** : fine whatever

 **Jerry** : itll be funny seeing andrews face at least

* * *

**_Chat_** : _xoxo gossip cole_

 **Jerry** : jesus hes whipped

 **Cole** : yeah, and what’s new?

* * *

**_Chat_** _: cole sprouse_

 **Cole** : after that speech i still don’t know how you deny it

 **Gilbert** : i was simply saying THE TRUTH

 **Gilbert** : IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH FEELINGS

 **Cole** : yeah right lol

* * *

**_Chat_** _: bosom friend <3_

 **Diana** : that was quite a defense you got huh

 **Anne** : um yeah

 **Anne** : but, i mean

 **Anne** : it’s gilbert, so

 **Diana** : so??

 **Anne** : i don’t know

 **Anne** : he does that sometimes

 **Diana** : yeah, for you, maybe

 **Anne** : what?

 **Anne** : what do you mean?

 **Diana** : ugh

 **Diana** : never mind, anne

 **Anne** : wait, no, diana!

 **Anne** : diana!!

 **Anne** : come back here

 **Anne** : WHAT DO YOU MEAN

* * *

**THURSDAY, MARCH 26th**

**_Groupchat_** _: avonlea high’s gays and allies_

 **Anne** : you know when i came up with this plan i didn’t realize i'd have to wake up and come to school even earlier than normal

 **Anne** : i can barely keep my eyes open

 **Anne** : this sucks

 **Jerry** : i tOLD U

 **Jerry** : BUT U DIDNT LISTEN

 **Jerry** : AND NOW WERE HERE AND THE SUN ISNT EVEN OUT YET

 **Gilbert** : i can pick up a coffee for you if you want?

 **Gilbert** : i'm at starbucks right now

 **Anne** : OMG PLEASE GILBERT

 **Anne** : I TOTALLY FORGOT TO GET ONE ON THE WAY

 **Anne** : YOU’RE A SAINT

 **Gilbert** : yeah of course it’s no problem

 **Gilbert** : a caramel latte macchiato with an extra shot of expresso and whipped cream, right?

 **Anne** : um yeah

 **Anne** : exactly

 **Anne** : thanks

 **Gilbert** : you’re welcome :)

 **Jerry** : oh a mocha with extra whipped cream for me!!

 **Gilbert** : get your own, jerry

 **Jerry** : i hate u

* * *

**_Chat_** _: frenchie_

 **Jerry** : dude ur so whipped

 **Gilbert** : no i'm really not

 **Jerry** : whatever dude its ur funeral

 **Jerry** : annes insane yk

 **Gilbert** : kindly shut tf up

* * *

**_Chat_** _: bosom friend <3_

 **Anne** : gilbert knows my starbucks order???

 **Diana** : hm

 **Diana** : how interesting

* * *

**_Groupchat_** _: avonlea high’s gays and allies_

 **Anne** : CALLING ALL GAYS LESBIANS BI’S PANS AND STRAIGHT ALLIES

 **Anne** : IT’S SHOW TIME

 **Jerry** : somehow ur typing but i can still hear u as if u were screaming in my ear

 **Anne** : shut up, jerry, and FOCUS

 **Anne** : does everyone know their places?

 **Josie** : Do I really have to be by the trash can?

 **Josie** : I feel like that’s a jab at me and I don’t like it

 **Anne** : it’s for five minutes, josie, you’re not going to die from it

 **Jane** : dont worry im joining you in eighteen seconds

 **Anne** : that is… very accurate

 **Jane** : yeah im good at timing myself

 **Anne** : okay?

 **Anne** : everyone else?

 **Gilbert** : i have successfully dragged cole to our spot

 **Gilbert** : ready when you are, anne

 **Anne** : yay! thanks, gilbert!

 **Gilbert** : um yeah, of course

* * *

**_Chat_** _: mad eye moody_

 **Moody** : You’re in love with Anne, aren’t you?

 **Gilbert** : NO I’M NOT SHUT UP

 **Moody** : Chill dude

 **Moody** : But you wouldn’t get this upset if you weren’t

* * *

**_Groupchat_** _: the boyz_

 **Gilbert** : WILL YOU ALL STOP THAT

 **Gilbert** : I DON’T HAVE FEELINGS FOR ANNE

 **Cole** : lol sure

* * *

**_Groupchat_** _: avonlea high’s gays and allies_

 **Diana** : billy is in place

 **Ruby** : Anne, I’m nervous

 **Anne** : it’s going to be fine, ruby, don’t worry

 **Moody** : Me and Ruby are here

 **Tillie** : Yep, me too

 **Jerry** : tillie i can see u

 **Jerry** : ur making out with one of the pauls

 **Tillie** : I’m good at multitasking

 **Anne** : OKAY SHUT UP EVERYONE

 **Anne** : IT’S TIME

* * *

**_Chat_** _: cole sprouse_

 **Cole** : close your mouth

 **Cole** : you’re drooling

 **Gilbert** : she…

 **Gilbert** : she’s amazing

 **Cole** : finally tired of denying it then?

 **Gilbert** : um

 **Gilbert** : yeah

****

* * *

**_Groupchat_** _: the boyz_

 **Gilbert** : so

 **Gilbert** : i might have feelings for anne

 **Jerry** : YES WE KNOW THAT YOU IDIOT

 **Cole** : moody you owe me ten bucks

 **Moody** : Fuck

 **Gilbert** : i hate all of you

 **Cole** : but you love anne

 **Gilbert** : i regret this

* * *

**_Groupchat_** _: avonlea high’s gays and allies_

 **Josie** : It’s been 20 minutes

 **Josie** : She’s still talking

 **Jane** : i think my brothers head is about to explode

 **Jane** : his brain capacity to understand words has been surpassed today

 **Ruby** : Well, I can’t understand half the words she’s saying either

 **Moody** : I’m catching one word in every ten out of her mouth

 **Gilbert** : yeah she’s amazing

* * *

**_Groupchat_** _: avonlea high’s gays and allies_

 **Josie** : It’s been 20 minutes

 **Josie** : She’s still talking

 **Jane** : i think my brothers head is about to explode

 **Jane** : his brain capacity to understand words has been surpassed today

 **Ruby** : Well, I can’t understand half the words she’s saying either

 **Moody** : I’m catching one word in every ten out of her mouth

 **Gilbert** : [message deleted]

* * *

**_Chat_** _: cole sprouse_

 **Cole** : smooth

 **Gilbert** : shut up

* * *

**_Groupchat_** _: avonlea high’s gays and allies_

 **Diana** : miss stacey looks like she’s having the time of her life right now

 **Cole** : we stan one (1) awesome teacher

 **Jerry** : tillie is making out with the other paul now

 **Tillie** : Like I said, I’m great at multitasking

 **Jane** : wow u didn’t even come up for air to text that

 **Jane** : im impressed

* * *

**_Groupchat_** _: the boyz_

 **Gilbert** : am i the only one sEEING THIS???

 **Gilbert** : she's perfect i have no words

 **Gilbert** : how does she even exist

 **Gilbert** : we have all been blessed with the existence of anne shirley-cuthbert and we should be thanking the universe for that

 **Cole** : …gilbert

 **Cole** : when i say ur whipped

 **Cole** : THIS IS WHAT I MEAN

 **Jerry** : oh my god WILL YOU STOP BLYTHE?

 **Jerry** : WE KNOW UR IN LOVE WITH HER

 **Jerry** : WE DONT NEED YOU TO SAY IT ALL THE DAMN TIME

 **Jerry** : it was better when u still denied u had feelings for her

 **Jerry** : what monster did we unleash

 **Moody** : You know this would be so much easier if you just told her how you feel

 **Gilbert** : …

 **Gilbert** : you are all completely insane and i need new friends

 **Jerry** : yea good luck with that

* * *

**_Groupchat_** _: avonlea high’s gays and allies_

 **Anne** : well i consider today a success

 **Anne** : CONGRATULATIONS, EVERYONE

 **Jane** : yea my brother was HUMILIATED

 **Cole** : A WIN FOR THE GAYS

 **Jane** : and lesbians*

 **Diana** : and bisexuals**

 **Gilbert** : and pansexuals***

 **Jerry** : and those who don’t like labels****

 **Cole** : okay, so, A WIN FOR EVERYONE

 **Josie** : Except Billy *****

 **Cole** : ugh i give up

 **Moody** : And we didn’t even get detention!

 **Jane** : god moody u need to dream bigger

 **Ruby** : Hey! Let my boyfriend be! He’s perfectly sensible and that’s why I love him!

 **Moody** : Oh babe I love you too

 **Ruby** : <3 <3 <3

 **Jerry** : y did we think itd be a good idea to let in the hets again?

 **Anne** : for the love of god

 **Anne** : you guys can’t focus for five seconds, can you?

 **Josie** : Anne, don’t worry, we’re all happy we got revenge on Billy’s homophobic ass

 **Josie** : But Moody and Ruby are too straight sometimes

 **Ruby** : But we’re allies!!!

 **Cole** : yeah, straight ones

 **Cole** : that’s the whole problem

* * *

**_Chat_** _: carrots <3_

 **Anne** : hi

 **Anne** : um

 **Anne** : i just wanted to say

 **Anne** : thank you

 **Anne** : for today

 **Anne** : couldn’t have done it without you

 **Gilbert** : are you kidding?

 **Gilbert** : it was all you, anne

 **Gilbert** : i was only there for moral support, basically

 **Anne** : that’s not true

 **Anne** : if it weren’t for you no one but diana and maybe jane would have agreed

 **Anne** : you convinced them my plan wasn’t completely insane

 **Anne** : even if it was, a bit

 **Gilbert** : i didn’t have to do much

 **Gilbert** : just remind them that you always have everyone’s best interests at heart

 **Gilbert** : and you always seem to find a way to make things right

 **Gilbert** : so, again, it was all you

 **Anne** : well, it still meant a lot, gil

 **Anne** : so thank you

 **Gilbert** : well

 **Gilbert** : you’re welcome, anne

* * *

**_Chat_** _: cole sprouse_

 **Gilbert** : SHE CALLED ME GIL

 **Gilbert** : GILAHSIUHDAFKJBSFBF

 **Gilbert** : G I L

 **Gilbert** : G

 **Gilbert** : I

 **Gilbert** : L

 **Cole** : THAT’S GREAT GILBERT

 **Cole** : NOW TELL HER YOU LOVE HER

 **Gilbert** : what???

 **Gilbert** : are you insane?????

 **Cole** : whatever i tried

* * *

**FRIDAY, MARCH 27th**

**_Groupchat_** _: tillie is a libra which is why she has 2 pauls_

 **Anne** : GOOD MORNING EVERYONE

 **Anne** : WHAT A BEAUTIFUL DAY

 **Tillie** : JOSIE WHY IS THAT THE GC NAME

 **Josie** : Revenge, bitch

 **Anne** : HEY

 **Anne** : this is a safe space with NO female rivalry

 **Josie** : Don’t worry, Anne, we show our love for each other through insults

 **Jane** : y are u all happy already

 **Anne** : JANE COME ON

 **Anne** : WE DEFEATED THE HOMOPHOBICS

 **Jane** : oh right

 **Jane** : unfortunately the homophobic is still a whiny asshole who lives in my house

 **Diana** : ugh i'm sorry, jane

 **Jane** : yea so am i

 **Jane** : sorry im related to him

 **Ruby** : Oh no, guys!!!

 **Diana** : ruby? everything okay?

 **Ruby** : No!!! Billy is here!!

 **Tillie** : What? Where?

 **Ruby** : Outside the classroom where me, Josie and Anne have geography now

 **Ruby** : He was waiting for her

 **Josie** : For fuck’s sake, I hate him

 **Josie** : I’m almost there

 **Diana** : yeah i'm coming too

 **Diana** : forget algebra my bosom friend is in trouble

 **Jane** : ruby what is my idiot brother doing

 **Jane** : if he touches anne…

 **Ruby** : Oh

 **Ruby** : Um

 **Ruby** : Don’t worry, girls

 **Diana** : what?? why???

 **Ruby** : Well

 **Ruby** : Gilbert just stepped in

 **Ruby** : Very knight in shining armor like

 **Ruby** : Pretty sure he’s got it handled

 **Jane** : huh

 **Tillie** : I don’t know if I should be worried or laughing

 **Josie** : I just got here

 **Josie** : Gilbert is ripping him a new one

 **Josie** : Can’t be easy for Billy, two verbal exterminations in two days

 **Ruby** : Gilbert is so into it not even Anne is saying anything

 **Jane** : well

 **Jane** : thats a new one

 **Josie** : Honestly, it’s beautiful to watch

 **Diana** : i bet

 **Diana** : it’s almost too good to believe

* * *

**_Chat_** _: bosom friend <3_

 **Diana** : hey

 **Diana** : you okay?

 **Anne** : um

 **Anne** : yeah, i'm good

 **Anne** : billy is an asshole

 **Anne** : but gil stepped in so

 **Anne** : yeah, i'm fine

 **Diana** : very nice of him to do so huh?

 **Anne** : yeah

 **Anne** : very

* * *

**_Chat_** _: gilbert blythe_

 **Anne** : hey

 **Anne** : you didn’t have to do that

 **Gilbert** : i know

 **Gilbert** : i wanted to

 **Anne** : oh

 **Anne** : well

 **Anne** : thank you

 **Gilbert** : no problem

 **Gilbert** : you’ve been thanking me a lot lately

 **Gilbert** : who would have known huh

 **Anne** : oh shut up

 **Anne** : i can just go back to hating you if that’s what you prefer

 **Gilbert** : no please

 **Gilbert** : i REALLY don’t prefer that

 **Anne** : well, okay then

 **Gilbert** : okay

 **Anne** : thanks

 **Anne** : again

 **Gilbert** : yeah

 **Gilbert** : anytime

* * *

**_Chat_** _: bosom friend <3_

 **Anne** : why

 **Anne** : why

 **Anne** : WHY

 **Anne** : W H Y

 **Anne** : whyyyyyy

 **Anne** : whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

 **Diana** : you okay there anne?

 **Diana** : anything i can help with?

 **Anne** : NO I AM MOST DEFINITELY NOT

 **Anne** : WHY IS GILBERT BLYTHE THIS FRUSTRATING

 **Diana** : oh god

 **Diana** : i thought you two were okay??

 **Diana** : especially after today??

 **Diana** : what did he do now

 **Anne** : THIS I S ABOUT TODAY

 **Anne** : HE JUST STEPPED IN AND

 **Anne** : HE JUST CLENCHED HIS STUPID JAW AND LIFTED HIS SPLENDID CHIN AND LOOKED AMAZING WHILE TELLING BILLY ANDREWS TO SHOVE HIS HOMOPHOBIA UP HIS ASS

 **Anne** : AND THAT JUST MADE HIM INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE

 **Anne** : HIS EYES WERE BLAZING WITH THIS FURIOUS FIRE

 **Anne** : AND IT KIND OF MADE ME WANT TO KISS HIM

 **Anne** : AND NOW I CAN’T STOP THINKING ABOUT IT

 **Anne** : AND I HATE HIM FOR IT

 **Diana** : um

 **Diana** : ok

 **Diana** : so… you have a crush on gilbert?

 **Anne** : WHAT OF COURSE NOT

 **Anne** : DIANA HOW DARE YOU

 **Anne** : HE IS MY ACADEMIC RIVAL

 **Anne** : HE CALLED ME CARROTS AND PULLED MY HAIR

 **Anne** : I WOULD NEVER HAVE A ~CRUSH~ ON HIM

 **Diana** : ok babe

 **Diana** : now go back and read the messages you just sent me

 **Anne** : …

 **Anne** : it means nothing

 **Anne** : my brain is not working properly

 **Anne** : AND IT’S ALL HIS FAULT

 **Diana** : whatever you say anne

* * *

**_Chat_** _: regina george_

 **Diana** : anne has a crush on gilbert blythe don’t tell her i told you

 **Cole** : well

 **Cole** : i mean

 **Cole** : wbk??

 **Diana** : i mean yes i know and i’m glad you agree but also

 **Cole** : FINALLY FEELS LIKE WE CAN TALK ABOUT IT???

 **Diana** : EXACTLY

 **Diana** : a weight off our shoulders honestly

 **Cole** : OKAY BUT WAIT

 **Cole** : did she say something??

 **Diana** : complained about his good looks and ability to put chernobilly in his place

 **Diana** : then denied having a crush on him

 **Diana** : but i mean

 **Diana** : wbk

 **Cole** : wbk

* * *

**_Diana Barry has added you to groupchat_** _: shirbert stans_

 **Jerry** : what is this

 **Cole** : diana you are my HERO

 **Diana** : thank you

 **Josie** : Is this what I think it is

 **Moody** : What’s shirbert?

 **Ruby** : Oh, babe, you’re the cutest

 **Moody** : Thank you, babe <3

 **Diana** : welcome, everyone, to the shirbert initiative

 **Tillie** : You all tired of waiting for the two idiots to do something, then?

 **Jane** : im glad to know everyone else has eyes

 **Moody** : What’s shirbert???

 **Ruby** : It’s Anne and Gilbert’s ship name, babe

 **Moody** : Oh, got it!

 **Moody** : So, we finally getting them together, then?

 **Jerry** : wow u know its a lost cause when even moody can see it and they cant

 **Moody** : Hey!

 **Cole** : ANYWAY

 **Cole** : diana, do you have a plan??

 **Diana** : well, of course i do

 **Diana** : it’s time to get these two gays together

 **Diana** : you all ready?

 **Josie** : Finally things are getting interesting in here

* * *

**_Groupchat_** _: avonlea high’s gays and allies_

 **Cole** : PARTY AT DIANA’S HOUSE TOMORROW TO CELEBRATE CHERNOBILLY BEING IN DETENTION FOR THE REST OF THE YEAR

 **Josie** : YES THANK YOU DIANA FOR BEING RICH AND INDULGING US

 **Diana** : you’re welcome

 **Gilbert** : finally something to look forward to

 **Anne** : and to think all of you were so quick to reject my brilliant idea

 **Anne** : and now here we are

 **Anne** : celebrating the success of my plan

 **Jane** : and to think we all thought anne was a humble person

 **Jane** : and now here we are

 **Jane** : having to withstand her huge ego

 **Anne** : HEY

 **Jerry** : WHATEVER

 **Jerry** : yall better go or u lose ur status as part of the gays

 **Tillie** : *gasp*

 **Tillie** : How dare you

 **Tillie** : Ruby and Moody were never part of the community

 **Ruby** : I’m hurt

 **Josie** : You’ll heal

 **Josie** : And Tillie

 **Josie** : Don’t you DARE bring the Pauls

 **Josie** : They’re WAY too straight for us

 **Tillie** : *gasp*

 **Tillie** : How dare you

 **Tillie** : Respect my boyfriends and our polyamorous relationship

 **Josie** : …

 **Moody** : Wait

 **Moody** : WHAT

* * *

**SATURDAY, MARCH 28th**

**_Chat_ ** _: carrots <3_

 **Gilbert** : hey

 **Gilbert** : are you coming tonight?

 **Anne** : heyy

 **Anne** : yeah, of course

 **Anne** : it’s my kindred spirit’s party, after all

 **Anne** : and MY plan

 **Gilbert** : right, of course

 **Gilbert** : haha

 **Gilbert** : i'll see you there, then

 **Anne** : see you ;)

 **Gilbert** : ;)

* * *

**_Groupchat_** _: avonlea high’s gays and allies_

 **Cole** : EVERYONE READY FOR THE PARTY OF THE DECADE????

 **Jerry** : it’s literally fifteen of us in diana’s living room

 **Diana** : which is why it’s going to be great, jerry

 **Jerry** : yes i agree

 **Anne** : where’s a whip sound when you need it…

 **Jerry** : ill kill you

 **Ruby** : Moody and I are on our way!

 **Moody** : And we have booze!

 **Jane** : how did we agree to leave MOODY in charge of drinks again?

 **Jane** : i feel like were giving alcohol to a child

 **Tillie** : We’re all minors, Jane??

 **Jane** : still

 **Gilbert** : we’re almost there, diana!

 **Jane** : Yeah us too

 **Tillie** : Thank god because Josie and Jane keep making eyes at each other

 **Jane** : ur literally sitting in the back seat with ur TWO bfs???

 **Tillie** : Your point?

 **Cole** : hmmm things are getting more interesting by the minute…

****

* * *

**_Groupchat_** _: shirbert stans_

 **Jerry** : nothings happening

 **Cole** : the party’s just started, jerry

 **Jerry** : yea and im tired of them already

 **Jerry** : this better work

 **Cole** : have a little faith

 **Diana** : not even i have that anymore

 **Josie** : If by the end of tonight they don’t do something

 **Josie** : Me and Jane are locking them inside a closet

 **Tillie** : You and Jane huh?

 **Jane** : go kiss your boyfriends tillie

 **Ruby** : OMG BUT LOOK AT THEM

 **Moody** : They are almost as cute as us, babe

 **Moody** : Almost

 **Ruby** : Aw I love you <3 <3 <3 <3

 **Jerry** : are we SURE its a good idea to have more than one couple in our friend group?

 **Jerry** : honestly i might be sick from all the sugar blergh

 **Cole** : shut up jerry you’ve kissed half of us by now

 **Cole** : and you’ve been crushing on diana for years

 **Cole** : the thing you want the MOST is another couple in our friend group

 **Diana** : um

 **Jerry** : eye—

 **Jane** : STOP TEXTING BEFORE THEY REALIZE WE’RE TALKING IN A GROUP CHAT THEY’RE NOT IN

 **Josie** : Everyone listen to Jane, she’s the only sane one among us

 **Tillie** : Make that three couples in our friend group, Jerry

 **Josie** : TILLIE

* * *

**_Chat_** _: regina george_

 **Diana** : these two are the biggest idiots in the world

 **Cole** : well

 **Cole** : i mean

 **Cole** : wbk??

 **Diana** : ughhh i just really want to interfere!!

 **Cole** : me too but like

 **Cole** : anne would kill us

 **Diana** : yeah i know

 **Diana** : with how insecure she can be it would probably make it worse smh

 **Cole** : i hate that i'm the one saying this but

 **Cole** : maybe we should just let them work things out on their own??

 **Diana** : look at you being the voice of reason

 **Diana** : but ughhhhhh

 **Diana** : THEY KEEP STARING AT EACH OTHER WHEN THE OTHER ISN’T LOOKING

 **Diana** : IT PHYSICALLY HURTS ME

 **Cole** : honestly

 **Cole** : i'm still betting on something happening tonight

 **Diana** : i hope you’re right because i can’t take this any longer

* * *

**_Chat_** _: cole sprouse_

 **Cole** : sooo

 **Cole** : are you actually going to do something?

 **Cole** : or just look at her and blush every five seconds??

 **Gilbert** : what?????

 **Cole** : you’re not that subtle dude

 **Cole** : only anne can’t see it but that’s because she’s even more oblivious than you

 **Gilbert** : hey

 **Gilbert** : don’t talk about her like that

 **Cole** : jesus christ you’re a lost cause aren’t you

 **Gilbert** : whatever

 **Gilbert** : … do you actually think i should say something?

 **Cole** : YES

 **Cole** : STOP DANCING AROUND EACH OTHER

 **Cole** : just walk up to her and talk to her for once

 **Gilbert** : um

 **Gilbert** : yeah no

 **Gilbert** : i'm going to text her

 **Gilbert** : this way when she rejects me i'll be hiding away in the bathroom and she won’t see me crying my eyes out

 **Cole** : ugh

****

* * *

**_Chat_** _: carrots <3_

 **Gilbert** : so um

 **Gilbert** : i’ve been meaning to say this for a while

 **Gilbert** : and i guess now is as good a time as any

 **Gilbert** : but you’re really pretty

 **Gilbert** : especially when you’re acting all righteous and angry

 **Gilbert** : your eyes turn a darker blue that looks like a tempestuous ocean and your hair whips around you like live flame and it’s fucking mesmerizing to watch

 **Gilbert** : so there’s a big chance that i might have a big crush on you

 **Gilbert** : but please know i don’t expect anything back

 **Gilbert** : i just

 **Gilbert** : wanted you to know

 **Gilbert** : so

 **Gilbert** : yeah

 **Anne** : oh

 **Anne** : i don’t know what to say

 **Gilbert** : please you don’t have to say anything

 **Gilbert** : it’s fine

 **Anne** : but i want to

 **Gilbert** : you do?

 **Anne** : yeah

 **Anne** : i mean

 **Anne** : did you know you’re infuriatingly handsome?

 **Anne** : and it just gets worse when you clench your jaw and start talking about heteronormativity and internalized homophobia and toxic masculinity and just…

 **Anne** : it gets really hard not to fall for you when you do all that

 **Anne** : so, you know

 **Gilbert** : anne

 **Anne** : yes?

 **Gilbert** : is it okay if i walk over there and kiss you right now?

 **Anne** : um

 **Anne** : yes

 **Anne** : that’d be fine

 **Gilbert** : okay cool

 **Anne** : cool

* * *

**_Groupchat_** _: avonlea high’s gays and allies_

 **Jerry** : oh my eYES mY EYES

 **Cole** : ARE YOU ALL SEEING WHAT I’M SEEING?

 **Diana** : shirbert stans lives matter

 **Josie** : Took them long enough is all I’m saying

 **Ruby** : they are SO CUTE OMG I CAN’T

 **Moody** : Babe can you imagine the amount of DOUBLE DATES WE’LL GO ON????

 **Ruby** : OMG BABE YES

 **Jane** : dont know y ur all surprised we all knew this would happen

 **Tillie** : Still hard to believe they got their heads out of their asses long enough to see their feelings were reciprocated

 **Jerry** : all of u are insane they r going to be INSUFFERABLE now and well be the ones having to watch the disgusting lovey dovey eyes

 **Diana** : i mean we’ve been doing that for years already but ok

 **Jerry** : yea but now its going to be EXPLICIT bc they wont be trying to HIDE IT

 **Jane** : u got a point there french boy

 **Jane** : whatever ur name is

 **Jane** : ew hets

 **Jerry** : my name’s jerry? uve known me for five yrs?

 **Diana** : and neither of them are straight?

 **Jane** : i stand by what i said

 **Jane** : both things

* * *

**_Chat_** _: gil <3_

 **Anne** : please let’s never go on a double date with ruby and moody

 **Gilbert** : oh believe me there’s no chance that’s ever happening

 **Anne** : okay glad we agree then

 **Gilbert** : guess we’re that in sync <3

 **Anne** : yeah it would seem so huh <3

 **Gilbert** : you’re amazing anne-girl <3 <3

 **Anne** : i know that but thanks for saying it

 **Gilbert** : i take it back you’re the worst

 **Anne** : shut upp

 **Anne** : you’re not so bad yourself, gil <3 <3

 **Gilbert** : <3

* * *

**_Groupchat_** _: avonlea high’s gays and allies_

 **Anne** : you have a SHIP NAME for us???

 **Gilbert** : omg you all SUCK

 **Gilbert** : except for anne

 **Gilbert** : anne is beautiful and my gIRLFRIEND

 **Gilbert** : and has never done anything wrong in her entire life

 **Anne** : aw gil <3

 **Gilbert** : <3

 **Anne** : <3 <3

 **Gilbert** : <3 <3 <3

 **Diana** : What even is happening

 **Moody** : Anne? Hit you over the head? With a hardcover book? The first day you met?

 **Josie** : She dyed her hair green once by mistake and then had to cut it all off

 **Jane** : she climbed the roof in the middle of winter bc josie dared her then fell off and broke her ankle

 **Tillie** : Anne pretended she was a dead Elaine, waded into the lake in a leaking boat and almost drowned

 **Cole** : she hated u because u called her carrots once and refused to forgive u even after years had gone by because she’s that stubborn

 **Anne** : oKAY WE GET IT NOW QUIT IT

 **Gilbert** : ignore them anne

 **Gilbert** : they’re all idiots who don’t know what they’re talking about

 **Gilbert** : you’re perfect

 **Anne** : gil stop it i can’t <3 <3 <3

 **Gilbert** : you know it’s true <3 <3 <3

 **Jerry** : i TOLD u all theyd be INSUFFERABLE

 **Jerry** : this is DISGUSTING

 **Anne** : SHUT UP JERRY

 **Anne** : YOU WORE THE SAME PAIR OF WHITE SOCKS FOR A MONTH UNTIL THEY WERE GRAY AND PERMANENTLY SWEATY YOU’RE THE ONE WHO’S DISGUSTING

 **Josie** : eW JERRY

 **Jerry** : aNNE

 **Anne** : also me and gil are LOVELY and not at all insufferable just so you know

 **Gilbert** : aw carrots <3

 **Anne** : <3 <3

 **Gilbert** : <3 <3 <3

 **Anne** : <3 <3 <3 <3

 **Jane** : i hate it here

 **Ruby** : I think it’s cute <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

**Author's Note:**

> so, what did you guys think? i hope you liked this as much as i enjoyed writing it! let me know what you thought in the comments! what do you think will be the next lover song that will receive a fic?
> 
> as usual, thank you to my wonderful betas dianawithaj, Wenchster and greenegables for revising and commenting this fic. your support means the world to me, couldn't do this without you <3
> 
> EVERYONE IS LGBT:  
> Anne: bisexual  
> Gilbert: pansexual  
> Josie: lesbian  
> Jerry: not a fan of labels, but has probably kissed everyone in the group  
> Diana: bisexual  
> Cole: gayyyy  
> Ruby: the straight friend  
> Moody: the straight male friend  
> Jane: lesbian  
> Tillie: pansexual, most likely, but has never actually said it


End file.
